On the Fallacy of Perfection and Beauty of Authenticity

I am passionate about living a healthy lifestyle. I am equally passionate about sharing my enthusiasm for health with my clients, friends and family. The fact that others consult me about matters related to fitness and nutrition is humbling: it puts me in a position to make a real impact. This level of responsibility is not lost on me, and I often feel pressure to look, act, and speak in a manner warranted by such a position. It's often too easy to fall into the trap of feeling like I don't measure up, or that I am doing an inadequate job fulfilling the role I've given myself. Whenever I slip up--on my diet, my training, my mindfulness practice, whatever--I tend to feel like I've fallen short of some ideal. Up until very recently, it was hard for me to admit that I am not immune to the struggles involved in sustaining a healthy lifestyle...

However, I've realized recently that what I thought was my greatest liability as a fitness professional is actually one of my greatest strengths: relatability. I used to think that I would achieve the greatest compliance and adherence from my clients if I presented as the "ideal;" in other words, an enviable physique, perfect nutrition, and an unfailingly upbeat attitude, 100% of the time. But what I've realized is that those who are looking to adopt a healthy lifestyle, however they choose to define it, want a role model that they can identify with, warts and all. They aren't inspired by someone who strives for perfection because 1) the definition of perfection is highly subjective, and therefore doesn't exist; 2) it's unrelatable, and 3) it's transparent. People see right through it! Human connection is vital to establishing trust between client and trainer, and it's from a place of openness and honesty that clients learnt to trust themselves enough to change their habits.

In an effort to be relatable, let me say that as a fit pro, my biggest struggle is nutrition. Food--how much of it I eat, how I feel about it, how it makes me feel--has been a fixed point in the orbit of my life for as long as I can remember. There were times when I didn't eat enough food on purpose; times when I ate too much on purpose; and times when I self-medicated with food. To say that I've been obsessed with food for a large part of my life would be un understatement! What I ate and how I ate was a card I played very close to my chest until recently when my training and performance goals gave me permission to shift my focus about nutrition. Shifting my focus from how my body looked to what it could do completely changed the way I look at food.

Formerly, any indulgence or meal that was "off plan" would be consumed in haste and followed up with an unhealthy serving of guilt. In fact, the chain of events would go something like this before a cheat meal: *shut brain off*, *devour*, *eliminate the evidence*, *feel guilty*, *plan and execute subsequent guilt-related exercise binge* *get back on strict diet plan*. I feared food so much that any visual reminder of an indulgent meal had the potential to send me into a tailspin. Existing in this constant state of tension that tested my willpower to its limit was debilitating. And yet, part of my felt like it was par for the course because, as a fitness professional, it was my duty and obligation to set an example.

I can't really say at what point the light went on, nor at what point I realized that being anything other than my authentic self was not only harming me, but harming those around me. Now I recognize how much I value authenticity: it's something I admire in others and one of the characteristics I aspire to embody myself. Prior to this realization, I was actively perpetuating a falsehood. Not every meal that I eat is healthy, nor do I practice mindfulness all the time. I occasionally eat with abandon, don't savor my food, and consume much more than I would like. Sometimes, I feel guilty about it. I often regret it. Am I proud to admit this? Heck no! But...it's reality. This is me, right now, being who I am but striving for improvement. Or, as Shunryu Suzuki so eloquently put it:

In other words, it's important to embrace who you are at this very moment and love who are right now because doing so empowers you to strive for and achieve your goals.

What a beautiful message for a spring Saturday. Have a great weekend, everyone!