Visualize and it will Materialize: Tips for How to Find and Harness Internal Motivation for Lasting Results

WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO GO THROUGH HARD TIMES TO GLEAN THE LESSONS THEY MUST IMPART!???!! Don't you ever wish you could just go back in time and shake your younger self and tell her all the things that you now know that would have made her experience so much better?! Yeah, me too :-) But, 'tis not the way of the world, and unfortunately, we gotta trudge through that s**t. At least we can lament (and learn!) from it all together!

Such a wonderful adage :-) [Source]

It's taken me the longest time--and the toughest lessons--to understand that you can't sustain physique results achieved through a lens of self-hatred. True, lasting changes are the culmination of self-compassion and thoughtful, deliberate, and patient action. Achievement of a particular physique, weight, or dress size cannot be tied to something external. When your success depends on your ability to follow a particular plan and achieve a specific result, what happens when that doesn't happen? What happens when life rudely interjects and you're forced to improvise? I know all too well that if you don't have the tools to weather the inevitable shit storm, it's all too easy to blame your lack of willpower, curse your bad luck, make yourself feel guilty, and eventually quit. I'm sure you can imagine the wonders this does to your self esteem! 

Like I said, I can relate to this. When I was a junior in college, I went abroad to Chile for a semester. While there, I met and fell in love with a Chilean guy who enriched my experience as an foreign student in so many ways. We had a lot of beautiful times together, and I left to go back to the states after my five months abroad with a very heavy heart. Before I left, we discussed doing "the long distance" thing. It worked for several months and I returned to Chile the following December to celebrate the new year. Something had very clearly shifted in our relationship, but I was still so head-over-heels that I would not--could not--admit it to myself. In April, my Chilean boyfriend broke my heart and announced that he'd fallen for another foreign student--this time, a blonde from Holland. 

"Rico Suave" and me

It's all so cliche, looking back. But at the time, I was so devastated. I had no appetite, which for me was a welcome side effect of heartache. I reveled in the way my clothes fit, and used my circumstance to fuel my unhealthy "diet." I would purposely look up pictures of my ex and his new girlfriend, fixating on her physical features, picking her apart to make myself feel better about being the one that had been spurned. I compared our physiques endlessly, which provided additional motivation not to eat. I was on the heartbreak diet and it looked good on me (or so I thought).

After awhile, life resurrected me from my funk and I started thinking about my ex less and less. As I did so, the weight crept right back on. Of course it did! The motivation to lose weight was not coming from a renewable source: it was entirely finite. With every pound I gained back, I felt more and more disgusted with myself. Why is it so hard for me to stay motivated? Why do I have so little willpower? Why is this so hard for me and so easy for other people? Why am I such a failure? And on, and on, and on.

I think that this is why we often fail to sustain our weight loss. As my experience illustrates, we pin our hopes, expectations, and motivations on something that is fleeting or non-existent. We fixate on a desired aesthetic but do not examine why we desire it or what it will help us achieve. Basically, we don't really think about what's in it for us--the person deep down inside whose voice has probably been muffled for a long time. It's this person that we have to listen to because what they want is what will provide the motivation to keep going. 

Are abs really what you're seeking?
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In order to make any sustainable and lasting lifestyle changes, you have to turn your gaze inward and accept that it's not only about diet and exercise: it's about how you feel about how you eat and how you exercise. It's about the intersection of what you know that you should do and what you actually do because of how you perceive the process. It's about introspection.

While all this may seem totally "New-agey" and esoteric, you can start by listening to your inner voice and asking yourself these questions: What do you really want to try that you've avoided because you feel like you're not ready? What would you do as a person with a healthier body and outlook on life? Identify whatever that is and give it space to grow and expand and take up space in your mind's eye. Give it shape and form, make it visual. 

"Vision boards" are an extremely useful tool to put an image to an idea or goal. Vision boards are exploratory vehicles to lead you to identify what it is that you value, admire, and desire in life. They are a creative pursuit which allows for a certain level of suspension of reality--in other words, when you're in a creative space, you're less likely to judge yourself too harshly and simply follow your instincts--the very guide you must listen to in order to uncover the intrinsic motivation that will sustain your results. 

Another tool to help activate those "motivation sensors" and develop resiliency is, though slightly little less tangible than a vision board, is pure visualization. Challenge yourself to live within the expectation of success, saturate yourself in that feeling. What does it feel like? Does that feeling motivate or discourage you? Visualize that you're already enjoying the fruits of your labor and chances are you'll be amazed at how quickly your vision and reality coalesce. Sure, it's not enough to just envision and act as though you're already successful: you have to work at it. However, when you shift your perspective from a place of "I'm not ready/smart/experienced/stting-willed enough to succeed" to one that says "I've totally got this," then you've cleared a huge hurdle. 

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The final piece of this puzzle involves broadcasting: tell others what you're doing, why, and how you would appreciate their support and encouragement. This not only makes you accountable to yourself to facilitate your success, but it inspires others. Encouragement is like sunshine: it warms our hearts and brings light into our lives and the lives of those around us who also feel it. It's also infectious, so seek it out, give it freely to others, accept it, and see it expand.