I don't know about you all, but I've been doing so-so on my New Year's resolutions. One was to continue to floss everyday (all good there); another was to write at least a blog post a week (I think I'm maybe only a week or so behind, so not that bad); and the final one was to start training for a figure competition. I know: that came out of left field, right?! Maybe kinda sorta, but for me, it's something that I've been thinking about for a long time. My problem is that I'm finding it excruciatingly difficult to start. Starting this process feels like starting to look for a needle in a haystack. The immensity seems insurmountable. I'm so overwhelmed by the sheer volume of information out there about the process that I metaphorically run screaming for the hills when I think of it.
Where does all this metaphorical running get me? NOWHERE, and I don't even break a sweat! My point is this, folks: what is it that holds us back from pursuing our goals, from fighting for our dreams, from chasing that which makes us really happy? It seems almost counterintuitive that as humans we sometimes run from the path that could lead us to the most happiness, but we see it all the time: in ourselves, in our loved ones, in those in whom we have the utmost confidence...it's really perplexing, but when you break it down into it's psychological nuggets, it makes more sense.
For example--and I'm speaking from my own experience and from sources I've read on this very topic--we don't pursue our goals often because they seem too big to imagine, to wrap our heads around. What we fail to realize is that a seemingly impossible goal is simply lots of littler, more manageable goals shoved together. When we look at a large, complex goal more analytically, we can more easily break it down into measurable goals that allow us to see our progress. As we see our progress, we gain confidence, and soon, that big, looming monster of a goal doesn't seem so awful anymore.
Why else don't we pursue our goals? We don't think we'll be any good at "it" when/if we achieve our goal. So what if we're not good at? Who cares anyway?!? Don't you think that once you achieve a goal, you'll be in a much better place to be able to appreciate the experience, what you learned, and be able to honor your intention and accomplishment that led you to this point? I think we are so quick to diminish our own worthiness that we let pessimism get the best of us and it's paralyzing.
Think about this: what do you admire about your idols? Why do you look up to them? For me, I admire my idols because of the odds they've managed to overcome as much as I admire them for their accomplishments for which I find them admirable. We certainly don't dwell on how "not good" they are at what we admire them for, which is the twisted way we judge ourselves before affording ourselves the same chance as our idols afforded themselves. What I love about my idols is that their very personal stories and struggles make them relatable, or more like the rest of us. Shouldn't that be enough to inspire us to take action in our own lives?! Our idols were once just regular people like us, right?!
My final assessment for why we don't pursue our goals is because we think it's going to be just too hard. But think about a little deeper: isn't anything worth having hard to get? Don't we appreciate what we have more when we had to work hard to get it? Try this exercise: make a list of all the things in your life that you achieved for which you had to invest a lot of effort and hard work...then ask yourself: what have the returns been on that investment? Chances are that every wrong step, every minute of preparation, and every bead of perspiration was worth it, and you'd do it again in a heartbeat...am I right?!
Give it some thought...marinate on it, as they say, and then go out and get whatever it is that you want in life!
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